I just completed my first year of college, and looking at the year in retrospect – I’ve realize that my interactions with my roommate (lets call her Kate), not only consisted of a hell of a lot of irritation on both of our ends, but also plenty of late night guffaws, resulting in our R.A. (person who monitors the dorms), having to repeatedly ask us to quiet down. For one thing, neither of us were accustomed to living with someone else, because neither Kate nor I shared rooms back at home. But also, having to share an already pint-sized room with someone is probably noteworthy when it comes to both the initial slow deterioration, and closeness, brought on by our room-ationship.
I will say, prior to commencing my freshman year of college, I held the pre-conceived notion that whomever I ended up having as a roommate, would become my best friend. This was especially true once my soon-to-be roommate and I talked on face-time, weeks before actually meeting in person for the first time. She seemed like an absolute sweetheart.
Once move-in day arrived, Kate and I could not stop talking. It was like love at first…move in? I don’t know, I just remember being unable to stop chuckling. The newness of Kate, the dorms, and college overall led to overwhelming feelings of excitement on both of our ends – and we were extra kind to one another, and excessively clean. But as with most things new – they eventually wither.
The most that Kate and I did things together outside of our the confinement of our dorm-room, was during the first week and a half or so of school. We went to a party or two together, grabbed food here and there, and ran some quick errands – it was certainly a good time. But I soon came to realize that I had severely misconstrued the bounds of our relationship. After that first week and a half, Kate had already made friends with two girls down our hall – and her and I stopped hanging out. My roommate was an extrovert, and those two friends had personality traits that largely matched up with hers – so while I wasn’t surprised that she’d made friends, I was upset by the fact that my college-roommate envisage (that we’d be hanging out all the time & making friends together), was so incredibly off.
Pretty soon, we stopped tidying up the room as much, and found little things about one another, irritating. We began talking more like this:
“Take out your damn trash”
“Stop chewing so loudly”
“Can you not talk to me while I’m doing my homework”
I should note that during my first few months of college, I’d hardly made a friend. So I certainly resented the fact that I wasn’t quite returning “home” to a friend, after long, tiring, lonely days.
I was beginning to give up on the whole having a great college experience thing, especially because I had thought that having a bestie roommate, was the biggest factor contributing to these experiences. But I realized, the minute I stopped having any sort of expectation (friendship-wise, at least) from my roommate, & after making small changes – our relationship actually improved.
For on thing, I began studying more in the library. This heavily eliminated distractions during the day and led to a greater peace of mind. I also made more of an effort to keep my half of the room as tidy & kept as possible – and I looked passed my preconceived notions of what having a college roommate is supposed to be.
Eventually, Kate and I found ourselves coming back to the room after long days, and either talking for hours, blasting music, or doing something silly. While we never quite did things outside of our dorm rooms, we certainly acclimated to each-others presence more. In fact, she’d once told me that I knew more about her life, than did her newly-made best friends. And she certainly learned a lot about me too… and we actually got along. Which is why it was so odd to think that we’d never become close friends. But before getting carried away with totally positive reminiscent thoughts, I will say we still found each-other at least mildly irritating at times – but that’d kind of expected when, once again, you’re sharing what felt like a 5X5 room… ugh.
Now it’s almost time to begin my second year of college, and luckily I’ve made friends with whom I get to live in a lovely little apartment next year. But looking back at the past year, I certainly think that Kate left a strong imprint on my life, in the most unexpected of ways. I don’t regret having her as a roommate, but I know now that having pre-conceived notions about anyone, is not the best thing to do.
If you’re an incoming college student/ about to have a roomate for the first time, think carefully about who you choose!
- August 22, 2017 @ 19:09:15 [Current Revision] by Rhea
- August 22, 2017 @ 19:09:15 by Rhea